dance to the beat

2011-06-18T21:40:00.001+08:00

i guess u dun read blogs anymore so its safe to post here.

i am very disappointed.

=(

2011-05-21T23:29:00.001+08:00

I feel like an idiot. I waited all night for your smses. I looked at my phone every 5 mins to see if there was one. But more often than not I was disappointed.It was a bad day... I truly needed you.

>.<

2011-04-19T22:51:00.001+08:00

Fuck

because

2011-03-27T22:25:00.001+08:00

Because idk what I've done wrong. Because idk what to do anymore. Because you're becoming more and more like the person you swore never to be againYou find me annoying, you find me irritating. Fine. You win. Shattered.

wish

2011-03-10T10:15:00.001+08:00

I wish for many things which I know will never come true. Maybe thats why they are called wishes

2011-02-28T20:01:00.000+08:00

marlene samantha goh feels at a lost, she cant find a direction in her life

2011-02-20T22:39:00.002+08:00

i didnt tell you how i felt just so i could get a scolding. i have had enough of those at home. if i wanted one i would have told my mum how i felt, not you. just thought i'll let you know. im hurt.

2011-01-11T10:36:00.002+08:00

FUCK. how the fuck do you expect me to go and celebrate when the one person i expected to be happy for me is feeling down.

i hate my results. i want to tear up my result slip. anything but to make you feel this way. i'd rather fail my olevels if its what it takes

2011-01-10T22:32:00.001+08:00

is it worth getting the best results if the person who matter the most to you will feel inadequate? if i can rewind time, i rather not get the best of results. i just want the person who matters most to me to be happy, cos thats the only way i can be happy.

2011-01-06T13:25:00.000+08:00

and im starting to think that really, my boyfriend rocks

2011-01-03T18:54:00.001+08:00

sometimes i feel like i had died

2011-01-03T18:53:00.002+08:00

wish my 16th birthday had been better.

but the 1 thing i learnt? no more planning parties for myself.

apologies

2010-12-17T10:02:00.001+08:00

I'm sorry my dear, my words are harsh

yay

2010-12-15T21:57:00.001+08:00

Thanks for making today the best day of the week =)

rantings

2010-12-13T23:59:00.001+08:00

So many things on my mind. Idk where else to say it once again, so I must say it here... I hope you won't read this, since you're busy these few days. I am very tired. I really am so tired I want to cry. I've done so much, I really don't know what to do anymore. All I want to hear from you is "I love you". I hate myself. Why was I so careless to let myself be found out. I want to go back to how we were before, especially in the months of augustt and september. I hear you speaking of other girls. I pretend i dont care, but deep inside it hurts. People ask me if im at all bothered, and i tell them its okay... I'm scared to go NZ, I'm scared to hear what you will say to me when I come back. Will you even miss me? Many people have asked me why am I doing so much. As of now I feel it is all worth it, but I fear my resolution is failing.

2010-12-03T11:57:00.004+08:00

alright, i guess enough of all those emo posts. Christmas's round the corner, whether you are happy or sad, in love or heartbroken, joyful or hateful, put everything aside and just have a great advent!

Have a good laugh, hope this adds a cheer to your day =)

2010-11-30T22:16:00.002+08:00

sometimes when im feeling down, all i want is a little bit of comfort. sometimes i do everything for you, all i want is to know that you'll do the same for me if you had the chance. sometimes when i defend you in front of all my friends, all i want to know is you defend me too. sometimes when i care about you and tell you things like i'll stay up with you, all i want is to know that im wanted.

2010-11-29T22:54:00.001+08:00

im confused. someone help me

2010-11-24T20:07:00.002+08:00

i thought i was okay. its only when im alone that it begins to sink in. i didnt know how much i can hurt until now. i'd rather take physical pain 10 times than to take this once.

2010-11-22T21:06:00.000+08:00

It's funny when you find yourself
Looking from the outside
I'm standing here but all I want
Is to be over there
Why did I let myself believe
Miracles could happen
Cause now I have to pretend
That I don't really care

I thought you were my fairytale
A dream when I'm not sleeping
A wish upon a star
Thats coming true
But everybody else could tell
That I confused my feelings with the truth
When there was me and you

I swore I knew the melody
That I heard you singing
And when you smiled
You made me feel
Like I could sing along
But then you went and changed the words
Now my heart is empty
I'm only left with used-to-be's
And once upon a song

Now I know your not a fairytale
And dreams were meant for sleeping
And wishes on a star
Just don't come true
Cause now even I can tell
That I confused my feelings with the truth
Cause I liked the view
When there was me and you

I can't believe that
I could be so blind
It's like you were floating
While I was falling
And I didn't mind

Cause I liked the view
Thought you felt it too
When there was me and you

mmm

2010-11-21T18:52:00.001+08:00

I just want to curl up and cry. And ive given up hoping your arms will be around me when I do so.

sad

2010-11-21T17:47:00.001+08:00

I wish for many things, but I know they will never come true. As time passed, I've stopped wishing and hoping, so I won't get disappointed. But, I'm still disappointed

Macau

2010-11-18T05:31:00.001+08:00

Greetings from changi budget terminal!! I'm off to Macau at this crazy hour! Love you all!

2010-11-16T19:13:00.001+08:00

its so difficult to force myself to treat you like a normal friend. the whole day today, i keep picking up my phone, hoping to see an sms from you, and then i remember whats happening.

still, i must endure. god give me the strength to do so.

2010-11-15T19:09:00.002+08:00

its over, but i find it near impossible to be happy.

sometimes i wonder why am i so useless. am i destined to only have 10 months of bliss.

i have no other avenue to say this, so i must say it here.

i miss you.

2010-11-15T11:17:00.003+08:00

i have no more energy left, sounds cliche but my heart seriously feels shattered into a million pieces.

took me all the effort to trust in him, and disregard what others said

took me all the effort to forget what happened previously

now again took me all the effort to pull this time off. delete his number, his calls and his sms-es. the only way i will be able to sustain this is to pretend he doesnt exist.

god dry my tears.

2010-11-15T10:33:00.002+08:00

you both speak as though im of the best calibre and im flawless. you speak of my cousin's girlfriend and her hunch. you speak of how its going to get worse. you speak of it and you ask me to choose wisely.

but have you ever thought people will be choosing me too? im not perfect either. i have a deficiency, and like my cousin's girlfriend its going to get worse. im going to go deaf. similarly, who will want a deaf girlfriend/wife? who will accept me?

sigh

2010-11-14T21:06:00.001+08:00

How? My head hurts =( so does my heart.

2010-11-13T23:09:00.004+08:00

i have to right to be feeling like this, but i am. i know jolly well this is my fault, and its no surprise you are scared. its just that i feel stressed out. i feel torn into 2 on both sides. my heart goes out to both. i love you on one hand, and im scared on the other. i cannot lose you, so what am i to do?

sometimes i wish my parents would just accept you. it kills me to have to go through this again and again, and i know it kills you to.

nevertheless, im hurt too, by the reaction i received.

major headache, at work.

at times like these, i really cant help but think of the words A___ said to me. all of a sudden they all make sense. im not good enough for you, i give you nothing but more trouble, and i cant spend time with you as and when i want to.

2010-11-10T17:55:00.001+08:00

okok leave the r___s to the guys. i get it i get it

concamp

2010-11-10T05:11:00.001+08:00

I feel like such a bitch now. Much as i try to i can't bring myself to be not jealous. I hate it that I won't be able to spend time with you. I'm jealous not because I dont trust you but because I don't trust them. They don't know about what's between us.. I can't imagine being under him. And AYD... well it's a disappointment that can't be avoided then...

2010-11-04T13:57:00.002+08:00

you know what

i seriously dk what your intentions are. if they are anything negative, im telling you you've failed. now f*ck off and stop telling me about the past. dont even tell me about last time, tyvm.

2010-10-29T20:24:00.001+08:00

a wink of an eye and we're half way through olevels

art, english, amaths, emaths and half of chemistry is over. wow. im amazed.

even more amazed i am at the fact that in less than a week it'll be 1 yr from our unofficial start. to that special person out there, i love you loads. =)

2010-10-27T00:09:00.002+08:00

it seems you dont understand.

i hate myself sometimes, for feeling like this. i dont have a right to feel this.

oh just a pile of meaningless rantings. nevermind.

2010-10-01T20:44:00.001+08:00

awesome, its 8 days left to graduation. does time FLY or what =.=

and means, 10 days left to o's. omg this is damn scary, 1 day left before it's SINGLE DIGIT countdown O.O

and as usual, my ice cream craving is back. ice cream, anyone???

2010-08-31T22:59:00.001+08:00

TOMORROWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW =D

2010-08-22T23:26:00.002+08:00

i think life is amazing, its really like a miracle.

i've never seen it this way, until now. i suppose, God really has a plan for everyone, and it doesnt matter whether or not you believe in him. everything is planned out nicely for you. remember few months back i was upset, i was moaning and i was fearful, because my grandmother was in a terrible shape. remember i was breaking down and praying she would not go.

there was a trend in my family. they were all taoists, and they believed that, for you to die, you had to be "fetched" by your ancestors, or family members that were already dead. so the trend was this... everyone in my family usually died around may to june, just before the seventh month. naturally, everyone was fearful. but guess what. the miracle happened. my grandmother, ready to give up, ready to go, a few months ago, recovered. she doesnt even need the oxygen tank anymore.

just a few days ago, i spoke to her. i asked her why she recovered so fast. her answer was so simple, it made me cry. she said "its not my time". and i asked her, how did she know. she said "your grandfather dont want to fetch me yet".

if i were to say this, many people will say that i have little faith, but i feel i have to. i never really believed in afterlife until now. and now i do. now i believe that afterlife exists, and is not limited by religon, nor race. for god so loved the world that he sent his only son, who is saviour of ALL, especially of those who believe. who is saviour of ALL.

and when i went to the temple to pay respects to my grandfather, i truely "spoke" to him, for the first time. and i thanked him.

whine

2010-08-11T09:43:00.001+08:00

*whine* I want a new stuffed toy! Lol and I'm craving for ice cream. Seriously I think I'm gg nuts =)

2010-08-07T00:39:00.003+08:00

so many things happening these days.
just as one thing seems to be solved, another pops out
i thank god for giving me you so that i can retain my sanity hahaha. lets hope this whole thing blows over soon. as of now, tired out people, it was an awesome day today so im gg to hit the sack =)

2010-08-05T00:53:00.002+08:00

*THIS IS GOING TO BE A NONSENSE POST*

the candle is burning OUT >.<
uhh double meaning to that
Meaning 1: time is running out
Meaning 2: my energy is running out

BOTH ARE NOT GOOD
and today SOMEONE just told me i'm getting more pimples. oh yikes this is reallyyyy not good )):

2010-08-01T23:56:00.002+08:00

last few minutes before the day ends
i'm feeling nostalgic.
Time really seems to fly past, i cannot believe its august already. frigging prelims are in less than 2 weeks. where did all the time go? no wonder people say time flies when you are busy and when you are happy. indeed, how true.

Each time its the first day of the month, i get the same feeling. the days starts off with happiness, for being able to last thus far, and then as the day goes by i get increasingly uneasy at the little time left. By night, i'm stuck with this feeling of nostalgy and mental preparation for my recurring nightmare again. Perhaps you could say that its all psychological that i am feeling this, but indeed the fear comes back stronger and stronger each month.

i dont feel all this when i'm with you, by your side. all i wanted to say is, i love you.
"you have stolen my heart, now dont go away, as we sing love's old sweet songs on moonlight bay"

Times of Reflection

2010-07-31T10:29:00.003+08:00

For all christians and catholics, I'll like to share this picture with you.

i think its really pretty amazing and reflective, a very subtle reminder.

Enjoy :D

2010-07-31T01:18:00.001+08:00

walked past Kalm's at takashimaya
FELL IN LOVE WITH THE TEDDY BEARS.
lol omg i seriously dk what's wrong with me HEH.

okay back to work. bye.

2010-07-29T22:39:00.002+08:00

dyou know what i think is cool?
that someone you love plays music for you. I think its really touching cos music always comes from the heart. you cannot make music without feeling for it first. :D

hmmm

2010-07-26T22:43:00.001+08:00

Sitting here, staring at my phone, waiting for your SMS... >.

2010-07-25T22:46:00.002+08:00

i feel like such a failure.

2nd time this year, the same thing happens...
first was literature top in level, then now the paper planes writing competition
i know what doesnt kill you make you stronger, but each time this happens i feel really lousy. its like you give me hope, and then you pull the rug out from under my feet. and i fall down.

i'm tired. there's prelims in 2 and abit more weeks. there's os in 90 and abit more days.

2010-07-17T23:20:00.003+08:00

i think my blog is becoming really dead.
many things happened over the last few weeks... and the last few days too
did much thinking... sorted out much thoughts.

its only after doing all these thinking that i begin to realise how much you have infused yourself into my life. without me knowing and thinking, you've transformed me. gone is the angsty marlene with the bad temper... gone is the rash and impulsive me. and replaced is the more quiet, more considerate and more.. idk... patient?

it came as quite a surprise when i realised i dont dominate recess conversations anymore. more accurately, i've become the listener. and its when i listen that i begin to realise even more things. a few days ago, i did a personality test, the same one i did in sec2... and the result i got now, is absolutely differnt from that in sec2. i mean, who in sec 2 will ever say that i can be a teacher or a social worker... and thats what i got now. my personality seems to have softened...

and the last 3 days, i realised, i cannot do without you. i think, that is why i have and i always will continue to put up with everything.

on a happy note, i finished my olevel art work :)

2010-06-02T12:43:00.001+08:00

i swear this blog is like DEAD to the world?! many things recently, grandma still hanging in there, doing fine, but its sad to see her like that. art is like seriously getting on my nerves big time. and HOLYSHIT i still have a month of digital painting to do. BLEAHGS. golf tournament on monday, score 112. terrible shit. came back headache and fever YUCKS. i swear to do better the next time. SWEAR i tell you. SWEAR. And anyway, random thought, im really a sucker when it comes to cute stuff... Seriously. okay gtta go get the house ready for SARAH TAN to come and crash. bye peeps

2010-05-26T23:32:00.001+08:00

grandma looks in a bad shape...
i dont wanna lose her this year
i dont wanna lose her, full stop.

2010-05-20T20:28:00.002+08:00

this place is becoming like a cemetry, nobody ever visits this anymore

my heart broke twice today.
1. bio paper, i was bloody banking on it for my a1. poof, gone
2. compared to his ex. i can take anything... anything but this. ohwells, he apologised already so its fine... i suppose understanding and forgiveness is key.

tata people, if there's even anyone reading. im gg to maths. looking forward to IJ fiesta tmr

2010-04-19T23:17:00.002+08:00

so lit up came and lit up went.
and so marked the end of weeks of fun, joy, irritation and hardwork.
i cant believe 4N's production has reached an end.

everything is moving too soon. everything.
friday is handbell concert already. my final handbell concert with CHE, with the 11 handbellers of my batch. it seems only yesterday i had my final concert with lesclochettes in 2006.

as mr leng so conveniently reminded us today, olevel is in 6 months. in 6 months we are graduating from cedar. in 6 months we are no longer cedarians.

2010-04-08T23:22:00.002+08:00

hello people. been really busy recently. april started and a week past already. Cedar's got talent auditions are over, somehow i really think we wont get into the finals. LOL. i had NO IDEA the selection process was so tough. wth out of 21 entries, 10 selected for online voting, final 5 with highest votes goes into the finals hahaha.

on the side note, speech day is on saturday. go handbells ftw, we know we can do it, lets impress them with our oh-so-awesome playing at the foyer(: arts fest starts next week. Lit-up is on fridayyyyy. sometimes i wish it would hurry arrive. i dont wanna see anyone screwed over this thing... sure dont wanna hear a repeat of what priscilla told me today. its saddening... escaping is not the best solution... but what can we do if the person involved simply doesnt get it?

past few weeks, realised something very important. confidence is good, but there's gotta be a limit to confidence. the line between confident and over confident is a thin and vague one, but you gotta be careful you dont overstep it... knowing your limits is a skill too. what with singing and dancing and all. you gotta REALISE that you cant do it, by yourself. after all, you are so full of yourself you dont hear it when people tell you.

i'm tireddd. i really am. i hope this gets over quick, i hate to see you fall if it gets worse through the week. on the happier note, its a class effort this time, everyone is involved (: so come down 16th april and catch us.

handbell choir night: 23rd april (: handbells is finally sounding like something awesome yaye yaye yaye. april is a busy month, but i'm going to enjoy it.

i hope all goes well.

2010-04-02T00:06:00.002+08:00

havent posted in a while. been rather busy, quite a few things have been going on... YAWNS.
1. speech day 2010 on 10th april
2. cedar lit up on 16th april, anyone wna come?
3. cedar handbell and choir night, 23rd april. coming?
4. cedar's got talent auditions are next week. if we get through into the finals, it'll be on the 29th april hahaha
5. cedar cross country, 30th april

the april month is gna be madly busy. hahaha
so many things so little time.
help me god (:

2010-03-15T22:14:00.002+08:00

hello all. sorry for not posting for a long time.

been rather busy, many things going on.

have quite abit to say today so if you're reading this, please bear with me.

Went with mummy to see granny at SGH today. i felt really bad because ever since she went into hospital last week i havent gone to see her once. i know. really unfilial right. granny's in psychaitric ward. and today in the ward, i came to realise alot of things.

first and foremost, its saddening, really saddening to see my granny, strong and resilient become seemingly weak and reliant. when i walked into the ward she hugged me and looked like she was going to cry. it was a stab to my heart.

funny how i grew up in a family that portrayed itself to be the best kind of family possible. everyone supports each other, loves each other, and claims that no matter what happens we will all be there for each other. this family can criticise other families and how other families are disbonded. the most ironical part however, is when this family meets problems of their own, they are shattered beyond any other family i've seen before. last yr my granny's mum became ill. that was the downhill slope for all. siblings quarrel siblings fight, siblings leave for cny so they dont have to face each other. and my great grandmother being shuffled from place to place. its amazing, saddening and shocking. truely.

somehow i wonder, why is it so hard for people to realise their mistakes and forgive other people for their mistakes. perhaps it is easier said then done. forgive, not forget... not forgive AND forget. by forgetting, perhaps, you are just refusing to face up to something that's already there. maybe, truely, you have to be in the situation before you realise how hard it is. 7 years since the incident and even i still cant forgive fully. yet i have to try. granny's story about a boy and his mum today, how their relationship was strained because of something the mother did, reflected something that is evident in my life. in fact, it was exactly the same issue. perhaps it is really time to pray harder for strength to forgive.

one visit to a psychaitric ward, an eyeopener to how short and fragile life is. and an realization to my life as well.

2010-03-01T22:51:00.001+08:00

tired. headache.
body really feels kinda like its falling into pieces alr.
march. 7 months to the olevels.

its not all a bed of roses.

2010-02-20T23:48:00.003+08:00

"i'll reduce you to oxidise myself"

"when we collide, we form a REACTION"

"you'll be the nitrogen and i'll be the hydrogen. together we make AMMONIA (p.s. i'm more impotant cos there's more of me)"

"Add sodium hydroxide and i'll turn into any colour you want me to be"

"Dunk me into acid and i'll give you hydrogen, because i'm REACTIVE and i'm MENTAL(metal)"

TOTAL PROOF I'M GOING NUTS. SERIOUSLY.

2010-02-20T22:54:00.002+08:00

been awhile since i last posted.
things still going fine. meaning to say, still hanging in there
wordload's getting craziehh. ask any sec4 they'll agree. bet you it aint the worse it it just gna get worse and when it does i'm just gna die give you see.

art's killing me. seriously.
on the side note, at least photoshop skills improved ABIT.

CNY was rather fun (: 2nd day out with cousins. laugh laugh walk walk chat chat. absolute retardedness. miss these times mann, everyone's getting to busy it aint easy to meet up anymore. nostalgic. 3rd day out with pris and friends. fun fun (: retarded also. haha. spend alot of money this CNY goodness. side note: at least i relaxed.

yesterday celebrated ahma's birthday with yusheng. the usual messy thing again (: yearly toss, yearly mess. its a mess that we all love, dont we? gamble gamble abit then went into fuzzy wuzzy mood. haha
FUZZY WUZZY DONT LIKE SZE BUT LIKE MINN.

anyways, all's over now, back to the hectic cycle. hang on everyone. life sucks the world sucks but we still hafta go on.

2010-01-30T19:13:00.003+08:00

crap mood today
effing dunno how to do my maths
i feel lousy, dont ask me why, i feel useless

mum got pissed, saying i'm too negative
maybe i am, i dunno.
dad's overseas. that means no one to help with maths

thought about many things today
i... dunno

2010-01-25T20:14:00.002+08:00

i feel bleaghs, but...
it's time to come to terms with it
there's no point hiding anymore, its a part of me

hey world, my ears are deteoriating.
yes they are.

2010-01-15T22:22:00.002+08:00

its only the end of the 2nd week of school
and oh boy i'm really tired alr HAHAHA
just a quick update

1. I FINALLY CAN MAKE MY IC
2. i got back olevel chinese results
3. no dont ask me the grade, it sucked
4. i went to HCJC, RJC and NJC open house
5. i saw milissa again after dunno how long at NJC open house
6. i wanna go back to KL
7. miss helimmi is teaching cedar handbell ensemble
8. YEAH I'M DAMN HAPPY BECAUSE OF 7
9. handbell auditions were good (:
10. tomorrow is induction ceremony

yes. tomorros is induction ceremony. todays rehersal was pissing like sh8t hell. i left the school very pissed off. as in handbells was good la. it was just all the mic stuff and the teacher telling us to play, then dun play then play then dun play etc. bleahgs. tomorrow will be a better day. needa report at 650am so gna sleep now BYE!

2010-01-03T21:00:00.001+08:00

happy new yr all!
i'm back from KL, thanks for all birthday wishes, my facebook was flooded. LOL.
KL was shiok. super fun (: enjoyed like crap
photos up soon (:

tomorrow as sec4s. we can do it (: it's gna be the best yr babyy, it's gna be the ride of our lives

2009-12-29T22:10:00.004+08:00

let the pictures do the talking

concert photos:

love you all loads, MOB.

photos from perf at IHM lightup 09:

thank you IHM for the opportunity. it was my first time leading a show

xmas 2009:

posing at such a young age... next time sure be model?

HAHAHHA

merry xmas and happy new year all (:

seeya around

2009-12-27T23:45:00.002+08:00

hey peeps long time no blog i know
been a crazily hectic period, with concert and all.
MOB CONCERT IS OVER
and it went pretty well
once again, thanks all for making my 5 octv debut sound so wonderfully perfect (:
love you guys TTM ((:
RASA SAYANG!!!!! hahahaha

xmas came and xmas went. time seriously flies... i hate the sound of new yr... it means O's in 11 months damnnnnn.... siao liao next yr is hectic year!!!!!!
cleared my room today now looks much neater... got presents hahahha can go strike off some stuff from my wishlist already yaye.
birthday in less than a week. also means new year in less than a week... die... hahaha
i'll be in msia kl then guys anything just sms my spore phone. i'll probably use a msian number to reply you peeps. dont worry you wont have to pay more.

okay once again, love you guys loads, everyone
hope you had a very merry xmas and a happy new yr to come...
shouldnt be blogging before 2009 ends... or maybe once at the airport?
hahaha anyways till then, byabya! maybe its bya 2009 and hello 2010 alr ((:
okay byes.

2009-12-14T14:02:00.002+08:00

confirmed. i'm confirmed.
13 dec 2009 ((:
yesterday was really fun, cant believe everything's over.
9 years of cathecism. all over.
many pictures. check facebook if you wanna see
i'm gonna miss everyone so much
nicea, alexine, pamela, marie, calista, rachel, manfred, erica, terence, everyone.
)): hopefully i'll be able to seeya around in church next yr.

p.s. CHURCH PEEPS,
TENTATIVE BIRTHDAY PARTY ON 30DEC 09
PLEASE INFORM ME IF YOU'RE FREE TO COME.

2009-12-10T20:57:00.002+08:00

TOL OUTING IS FUN
nvr enjoyed myself so much watching a movie
even if that movie sucks shit((:
hahahahaha. no seriously guys, you've never watched a movie until you've watched it with TOL.
anyway, new moon sucks. fell asleep. its a waste of moneyxzxzxzxzxxz
"not even applause deserving, dont mention standing ovation thank you"~~ ALLY
HAHAHHAHAHA.
laugh laugh laugh, crap crap crap, laugh summore, crap summore. reached home super late but it was worth it (: ahahahaa. thanks terence for being agreeable to being dragged out XD. \

I WANNA GO OUT WITH TOL AGAIN.
RAHHHHHHFYUIKNMKVCFUJHBNK

okay bye people!

2009-12-08T17:04:00.002+08:00

Hi people i'm back from CON CAMP 09
rocks shitty hell rocks all the way

and i'm missing it like TOTALLY i wanna go back )):
hahahaha it was really amazing, some of the activities, wont mind doing it all over again, seriously. thanks everyone for caring about me and including me in the activities even though i'm injured and all (: made new friends and grew closer to other friends (:
thanks group "JOY" for making this such a memorable experience, seeya guys on sunday at confi mass! (:

i wanna go for TOL outing tmr. how to ask my mum!

2009-11-27T20:25:00.002+08:00

2012 has gotta be one of the most thoughtprovoking movies i've ever seen
((: awesome
changed many of my thinkings as well
brought me closer to my faith, and made me realise how unpredictable life is

2009-11-21T14:31:00.002+08:00

whine....

i wanna walk

anyways, on the side note, grace's back from HK. glad you had funn. when you're back in SG i'll probably be walking abt alr. i'm getting sick and tired of my room.

and i wanna say "i miss you". you know who you are.

okay yawns. tata.

2009-11-19T23:32:00.001+08:00

TMR IS FIRST REVIEW
I GET THAT SPLINT OFF MY LEG AND GET A BRACE INSTEAD
hahahaha. YAYE. crutches are getting on my nerves. LOL.
I WANNA WALK. nvrmind soon soon soon
and then i'll hold you guys to all your promises yeah
JUSTIN, PRISCILLA, JOANNE, EVERYONE.
i wanna run, swim, tennis, shop, jump
MOSTLY I WANNA GOLFFFFFFFF omg i miss my golf clubs SO MUCH

hahaha GA is still working its magic on me i'm still sleeping like a horrible pig. pris i'm gonna have to depend on your to drag me jogging after this whole thing is over. NEEDA GET IN SHAPE NEXT APRIL BABYYYY. I'VE GOT NAPFA TO DOOOOO!

hahahhaah alrights i'll end with a photo of me looking groggy after the whole operation was over

HAHAHAH okay people tata!!!

2009-11-16T15:52:00.003+08:00

RIGHT, EVERYTHING IS OVER.
cant believe it
show was good though it was like 7th month
but this time round not 1, not 2 empty rows but DOZENS of them -.-
walked around, saw alot of people, no OBM though... but NEVERMIND IT WAS AN EXPERIENCE.
i wish it wasnt over RAHHS. it was fun while it lasted! )):
sat we all left at 11.30 with zoey and deb running for last train. thank god mummy came to fetch else my cabfare.... WHEW.
made many friends from mainwayang. until now i still have trouble telling the twins apart... nadia and nadine. DIE. how to tag facebook photos like that. EH PEOPLE I UPLOAD ALR YOU ALL HELP ME TAG LAH.

LASTLY, THANK YOU GRACE, ZOEY, DEBBIE, CHENSI, JOANNE AND CHERVELLE FOR EVERYTHING (: THE WHOLE SEASON WAS GREATTTTTTTT AND I LOVE YOU PEEPS LOADDDDS

i'll end off a photo

HAHAHA ((:

2009-11-10T19:26:00.002+08:00

CHINESE O'S ARE LIKE OVER OVER OVER OVER WTF OVER
it wasnt THAT BAD. it was just... OKAY.
which is kinda good. with anyluck i dun have to drop effing HMT next yr.
with anyluck.

Flyer with Kash, Vidhya and Phoebs
one word to describe it: RETARDED
i swear i never laughed so much in my life since.... before EOYS or something. hahahah we just kept cracking up and cracking up. ZOMG the best was getting phoebe to buy a teeshirt. LOL inside joke. (: eh phoebe?
OH YES WE GOT THE WHOLE FLYER CABIN TO OURSELF LIKE YAYE CAN.
camwhore camwhore camwhore for 37mins. sit there, stand there, LIE THERE, enjoy view and camera snap snap snap. ((:

officially broke. honestly. i have like what? 2 bucks left inside my wallet for the rest of the week. nevertheless it was worth the while... $14 for phoeb's birthday/kash and vid's xmas, $10 for flyer.

I CANT WAIT FOR 12th NOV. NEXT CAMWHORING SESSION ((:

2009-11-09T21:15:00.000+08:00

life is so f-ing unpredictable
today you may live
tmr you may not
sigh

on the side note, I WANNA GO SHOPPING
*whine*

2009-11-09T18:33:00.001+08:00

woah people, RELAX KAYS. the previous post was just food for thought... hahaha. bleahgs to the lit debate crap. like seriously ):
tmr is mt o's. i'm just going to walk into that exam venue, and crap whatever that comes to my mind, and leave the rest up to god, because i suppose i've already done all that i can. after that is PLAY PLAY PLAY PLAY PLAY(:

OMFG 3 days to APEC rehersal, 5 to APEC!

2009-11-07T22:22:00.003+08:00

its better to be loved than to love. do you agree?

this happens to be my lit debate topic for the 12th Nov madhatters party at SCGS. A midsummer's nights dream. need to prepare and debate on this, both agree and disagree.

come to think of it, its rather relevant in my life... i think. I honestly do not know whether is it better to be loved or to love. i suppose, in a relationship, both is needed, to strike a balance. But sometimes, being loved, or to love, can be painful isnt it?

Ximin said that love is when you can ride through the wrong things said or done. but what if by loving someone, you're hurting him or her. what if by being loved, you put yourself in a dilemma. what if by loving and by being loved, you feel torn two ways? then what do you do? is it better to be loved, or to love?

okay just a thought people. i'm going back to my chinese/shakespeare. needa find answers to this qns out of midsummer's. RAHS

2009-11-04T14:10:00.003+08:00

i seriously cant wait for the chinese o's to be over, then i've got a week of play time and then my opt... next tuesday, then PLAY officially starts YAYE.

10th nov after O's: FLYER with phoebs, kash, vidhya
11th nov: preparation for lit debate and dentisttttt
12th nov: lit debate, APEC REHERSAL (yaye)
13th nov: erm outing with huixian maybe?
14th nov: APEC APEC APEC
15th nov: *currently free*
16th nov: ZOO with phoebs, kash, and maybe pris?
17th nov: operation, oh wells.

alrights people... tata

2009-11-02T21:05:00.003+08:00

oh APEC you're so fine,
you're so fine you blow my mind
hey APEC, hey hey, hey APEC

HAHAHA yesterday's rehersal rocked. well done everyone. (:
minus the full dress (aka pajamas) and the hair and the *AHEM* makeup, it was alright ehs?
HAHAHA FUN FUN FUN CAMWHORE. 12 november. i'm so looking forward to 12th november now. LOL. and then 14th november will be THE DAY.

hahaha i'm super super excited. BUT. before all these fun, there's sth called chinese o's. oh shitty

2009-10-31T15:51:00.003+08:00

(: (: (:
hahaha. yayeness.
oh alrights. hahaha. to all peeps who took their music theory today: how was it? manageable?
hopefully so! today's prac was omens of love again. some mad mad mad song. really. and just guess what. that wasnt even top speed yet. oh gosh.
new song, new instrument. kompang with debbie and joanne.

tmr's apec. instruments already sitting in my dad's car. (: hahhahaa. seeya tomorrow people!

why the f do i always screw things up. why

2009-10-27T21:52:00.002+08:00

results are all back
i'm happy (:
hahaha. the happy girl achieved her targets of a single digit l1r5 (: yayeness
the only pissing thing is literature like WTF 74. i want my a1! but nvm (: HAHAHAHA

love is a beautiful thing. i really think so. at least for now.

2009-10-26T14:56:00.002+08:00

i must say! "my sister's keeper" is a super super super super SUPER touching movie
very sadd but very nice
in front of me, behind me, beside me, everyone was like tearing

today's checking of papers still okay. i'm like GRRRR with TTT and art. what the piang. how can it be that highest in class is like what: c6?! kns.
the rest are quite (: so yups (: HAHAHA

okay okay tata people.
i just did sth very stupid

2009-10-24T22:22:00.002+08:00

i think i should start writing the theresa teng medley into sibelius alrd
sheesh i should just stop procrastinating XD... marlene get away from blogger and go write the song. now. okay this is so not working.
i hope there'll be time to play that MLTR song... hopefully. i'm racing against time. then again, that depends on their decision......

today was omens of love. mad song. kulintang. my first time. sheesh idk how to play that kulintang....... so fast somemore. XD

anyway, congrats jeslin on your happy marriage! i'm off to sibelius

2009-10-20T21:46:00.001+08:00

i just had a bad cry
WHY!

2009-10-20T10:56:00.002+08:00

had a bad dream last night ):
oh wells. this dream might just come true
6 months next yr... idk if it'll be agony or if it's a good chance
i'm trying to keep my spirits up and be optimistic that it's a good chance
still... i'm afraid.
i can only say, "thank you god for providing me with all my cushions ready"
we have an uphill battle next yr. i cant believe i've already started being upset on this issue. really, UPHILL BATTLE

2009-10-20T10:36:00.000+08:00

marking day today. you know what. i kinda shudder to think of the teachers marking my paper. then again. heck... enjoy life while you still have it (:
HAHAHA
slacking is fun. but sheesh CHINESE ): oh goodness gracious me ):

2009-10-14T14:30:00.002+08:00

oh GOSHHHHHH only art and lit left now. gosh gosh gosh gosh gosh *SMILES*
hahahah so far, bio was the easiest (i think) and amaths killed my brain today. its not difficult... just... idk how to say leh! like do until veh veh veh tired.

haha okay people i'm off to mug lit... midsummers and mockingbird.

2 days to liberation!

2009-10-06T19:14:00.004+08:00

hello all (: just decided to upload a few photos of the exhibition that day... sorry it wont be the full thing. after the EOYs then i'll probably upload the whole thingo up onto facebook for all to see (: alrightys here goes (:

say hello to the work people (:

THIS IS THE GROUP. though we all look constipated

I FELL IN LOVE WITH THE SHOES

AND THE PACIFIER!

ZOMG THE DIAPER

2009-10-03T20:43:00.002+08:00

okay people NEWS UPDATE:

1. SAM exhibition is TOMORROW!
2. OMG we finished setting up!
3. ITS LOOKING VERY NICE
4. change in timing for exhibition, its 10-5 now. if you come between 1-5 its FREEE!
5. COME SUPPORT ME (:
6. oh hossan leong show is very very funny(: watched it today (:
7. ok wait i need to go send passport photo to damien for apec show
8. die, i'm procrastinating for everything
9. I NEED TO START STUDYING ASAP (eso SS and CHEM)
10. okay bye people, i'm going to study

2009-09-27T21:28:00.001+08:00

1 more week to exhibition (:
goodluck all art pupils ((: esp group leaders.
JIAYOU ARIEL, VIVIAN, SONGYA AND SOAKTENG! (:

on the side note, anyone wanna come support me? 4th october at singapore art musuem, 2nd level auditorium (: whether you need to pay or not, i'm not very sure sorrehhh

2009-09-24T19:49:00.003+08:00

i finally got my phone phone phone phone back (: like PHEW FINALLY.

okay people. muggaton has to start like ASAP alr. today's maths mock just showed me how much more i need to do to get my targets. anyone wanna join me for muggaton?

alrighty people, next 3 weeks the posts will be slanted towards the short and boring side. else no post at all so sorry. will be back after the 16th oct. till then, seeya people, or not.

7 days to EL paper. good luck everyone(:

2009-09-23T19:00:00.002+08:00

these are the proposals SAM project group 4 has summitted thus far

1. signboard in center of room ( 14th sept)
2. signboard at side of room (14th sept)
3. using books to build shape of hand at corner of room (14th sept)
4. using paper blocks to build shape of hand PLUS suspension (23rd sept)

if you think the dates are dates of SUBMISSION, you are wrong my dear... they are dates of REJECTION. best. all within a time frame of less than 2 weeks. no more energy to continue alrd la. summore we prepared the bloody shitty paper blocks. fold until hand blister...

someone tell me what to do now?

2009-09-21T19:43:00.002+08:00

WOW JIE I HAVENT SEEN YOU AT MY BLOG FOR A LONG LONG TIME. HAHAH HELLO HELLO ((: come to think of it i really havent seen you for AGES. after my exams and ur promos can we go out? or i come your place and chill((:

HAHAHA. study date with grace today. very retarded. (: i'm telling you, grace never fails to make me laugh. shit i go KL with her sure laugh until stomach ache, at night cannot sleep. ahhaha. i dun feel like looking at anything to do with school now. or maybe even for the rest of the week. damnit. bleahs.

HAHA I SEE YOU SPELLED MY NAME RIGHTLY PRIS. yaye yaye yaye ((:
NOT LIKE SOMEBODY.
lol YOU BETTER KNOW WHO I'M TALKING ABOUT.

on the final note zomg baby stuff for installation art is settled. my GOD. thank you to everyone and esp tiff. without DEAR tiff, i tell you, the collection is FRIGHTENINGLY biased towards girls. everything all GIRL stuff. wth.

2009-09-18T23:57:00.003+08:00

yawns. haha. i burnt my fingers with hot glue gun today
rahs
oh wells
tmr going AG home. hmmmm.
need to find a day to study bio with graceeeeee

on the side note, rasa sayang is finished zomggg

2009-09-17T20:23:00.002+08:00

OMG OMG XM YOU CAN HELP ME NOTATE?! OMG
hahhahaha that would be like SAVING my life. XD
but i'm kinda like still trying on my own. surprisingly, i survived. till now((:
hahhaa

Today was fun. handbells was playing "lets pokka" faster and faster and FASTER
i think i got blue blacks on my chest. well, i wont be the only one. i think shannon and peixuan and zhuo en got also. LOL

Trigo is getting into my head, like FINALLY. gawdddd. dunno how long alrd can! XD hahaha maths is getting fun now that i know how to do. and its getting reeetaded((: but really, doing trigo can burn up all your brain cells

Tmr is going to be mad rush day for me. after school go SAM for workshop, hopefully dun need change idea AGAIN. i'll go mad if need, ZOMG. after that rush go class. SHERMAINE IS NOT COMING TMR )): oh wehhs ): ah wells. hahhaa

okay tata people i need to go write the YOG essay for someone
hahha, bye!

2009-09-15T19:04:00.002+08:00

(: hahaha. today was kinda shit but still okay. hmms.
jenga blocks to make hands LOL.
oh yeah anyone got white baby clothes/toys/etc that you dun wan alr?
I NEED I NEED. hahaha
okay gtg peopleee. BYE!

2009-09-13T20:45:00.000+08:00

back to school tmr. HMMM.
suppose holidays must end
time to "look forward" to the exams
jiayou everyone. (:

2009-09-12T22:16:00.000+08:00

grace asked me to help her with her poem
so since she's using a shortenified version of it, i might as well place the full version here (:
HAHAHA. its a lame poem people. but enjoy (:

LIVING IN SPORE
the sophisticatedness of this island
weaved in dept into our hearts
early morning sounds that are often heard
uniquely singapore's cockcrow
"gurang guni! siu bo zhua"
a sound of someone trying to scrape a living
"aunty one dollar lah"
the sound of someone bargaining: how typically singaporean
you glance around the city and she presents to you
"chop-ing" seats with packet tissue
you wont be hardpressed to see signs in the library
signs that teach you proper english
Singapore is a fine city
be careful, smoking can be fined, parking can be fined
dont be surprised: evern eating can be fined
twenty four hours a day we hare around like rabbits
no time to stop, no time to wait
we push, we shove, we yell, we complain
in the bus when we see people needing seats, we pretend to sleep
even when we speak, oh yes
we cut everything short
"why the bus so long" "i ownself go"
"you call me " "Tommorow things, tomorrow say"
oh, what a sophisticated city

2009-09-12T19:21:00.000+08:00

okay hello people (:
haha. i'm bored. i should be doing geog. or something
haiyo no mood la

today's MOB was fun. (:
haha. headache though. after today i appreciated my rhythm sense EVEN more (:
gahahaha. Bus-rided with joanne and chervelle
i also think i became zoey and grace's personal tutor for geog. for its okay. can consider practise for me. okay lame. i'm becoming continually retarded oh gosh. but whatever.

i'm starting to procrastinate. sibelius is supre ultra irritating. sometimes i pity XM to have to use it like for composing all the time. Sib just refuses to listen to me. i think after i finish that rasa sayang i'm not going to touch the sib till next yr or sth.

on the side note. i believe i'm going to be clocking up plenty of "SMRT miles" from travelling to and fro art museum. why is there air miles but no "SMRT miles"? i bet i could like redeem plenty of trips. XD okay lame.

right. i should stop procrastinating. bye people (:

2009-09-09T19:59:00.000+08:00

haha today was retarded
thank you grace, zoey, kash, pris and vid for coming over ((:
you made my day
hahaha good to have studied with you guys. i hope you all accomplished something, at the very least
heehee

blogger is kinda getting seriously screwed?
i think i may have to consider like moving over to xanga or wordpress soon

2009-09-08T21:11:00.000+08:00

woah i dont believe this. 4 hours of maths continuously. gosh gosh gosh. but thank god for it. at least i wont be so blur to trig now.

trig just refuses to get into my head. TIME AND AGAIN. rahs! oh wells

hmmm. choosing confirmation name. this should be fun. sometimes i wonder. should i just choose another name and use it. then i'll forget everything that happened.

haha. still playing around with a couple of names in my mind. oh goodness someone help me choose!

2009-09-07T17:21:00.000+08:00

today was an utter shit crap
carded a score of 55.
at least i maintained.

i need to be able to keep going. i need to be able to sustain beyong just 4 holes.
rahs.

anyway gg to sleep now. i feel like a zombie.

2009-09-02T21:15:00.000+08:00

this is just another of my rantings post
people you can just ignore this

i wonder how fast some people's emotions can change
few months they treat you like you are the world to them
and you expected that it would not last
and true enough few months later you become totally invisible
then suddenly they talk to you again
treat you nicely
for a short period of time
and then back to ignoration
i feel like a freaking storeaway
then again, probably thats what i am to you.